LENT

Hi all-
So, I have been less than consistant on this whole updating my blog thing, sorry about that. It's one of those things I think about doing when it's not convienant to do, ie. in class or when I am trying to sleep. Anyways, I thought that since it is Lent, I would once again, (at least I think I have told this story in the past) tell the story of Andy W., or at least, part of his story, and why/ how Lent took on a whole new meaning for me because of him. And I do appologize to those who have heard/read this before, but, this is just what I do, for me, Lent begins with this story- (not theologically, just in memory of/realization of this time of Lent).

The understand the story of Andy- I have to go back a few years. And, since it's not just my story, I will not be putting up here on the internet all the details, so I am sorry about that- but nevertheless, these are the parameters.

After I graduated from college and wound up living back in the Triangle (the central part of NC for you Texans and others- Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill-which I have actually lived in all three cities)- I got a call from my pastor, Jim, to help out at my home church as a volunteer youth leader. I did that for two years, and then, after the DCE left, became the youth director there (part-time) for the next two years. Anyways- one of the families that started coming to the church in that first year that I was there were the Powells. They had four daughters and they also cared for/had custody of their niece and nephew, Marquita and Andy. (Their parents were killed when they were younger). These six kids became active in the church. I was fond of all of them and spent a lot of time over the next couple of years getting to know them. Anyways- a lot of things happened, and when Andy was 16, he emancipated himself from the family and moved in with some friends. I didn't see Andy much after that. I would get updates from his sister and cousins and other kids in youth group, but, we drifted apart.
Andy wound up getting himself in trouble. He got locked up in a juvie prison. Then one weekend (or the equivalent) he got a furlough- they were going to transfer him to one of those work camps. Sometime, over those next 48 hours, he managed to get himself drunk, and at about 3 or 4 in the morning, drove one of his friend's trucks, (with the friend with him) and wound up totaling the truck. The friend, suffered a broken jaw, a couple of broken ribs, but generally was ok.
Andy wasn't that lucky. He was put on life support. On Monday, I got the call (from my pastor) that Andy had been in a wreck, and was at the hospital. At the time I was also working at Lowe's Home Improvement (in the cash room) and spent the next few days going in to work, getting the books done, registers together, money ordered etc and then went straight to the hospital or to visit with other kids from the church). As far as calling goes- this week- this time period, was also pivotal for me as well- being there with Andy and his family, the pastor, and my other kids- that was where I was supposed to be.
Anyways- it was Wednesday when I went out to another family's home to visit with their two high school kids- the ones who were closest to Andy in our church. I sat with them as we talked about the very real possibility that Andy was going to die. We talked about his life, and their lives, and then, I took them with me to the hospital. We sat there for a couple of hours, and then, because it was also Ash Wednesday, left there and went to church that evening for the service. There, we sat, the youth and their advisors, in a couple of pews, crying, holding each other, because this period of Lent, this time that leads us to the cross, to death, had become ever more real for us. Jim invited me to help impose the ashes (also a first for me). It was significant. From Dust you came, and to dust you will go. Finite. Death. Grief. Ashes. As I put the ashes on my pastor's head, I thought to myself these things and wondered at the grace of it all- at the love that this too symbolizes- and honestly, it probably was the first time I probably really paid attention to Lent, this time, this sacred time.
By Friday, it became clear that Andy was not going to regain brain function. We began making preparations for his funeral, for helping those around him to accept this reality. My pastor invited me to go in with him and one of the elder's from my church as we said goodbye to Andy before they turned off the life support. We prayed with him, held his hand, read some scripture and I stared at this young man who, due to all that medical stuff and 18 months of time since I had seen him last, looked so very different than the boy I knew.
Andy died two days before his 18th birthday.
He was my first, and unfortunately, not last of my young people that I have lost in my years of working with them and being in ministry.
It has been 8 years now since his death. Not an Ash Wednesday goes by since then that does not pull me back to that one 8 years ago, to the memory of it all- to this sacred, holy time.
It is this invitation into the life and death of people- into their journeys in between that I hold most sacred in my call to ministry. I thank God for Andy. I miss him still. And for me, Lent, starts with remembering him, and Kelly, and Grant, and Ketchura- lives that were just too short.
It is good that death has lost it's final sting. It is good that there is hope that goes beyond burying a 17 year old boy.

And that is the story of Andy. And the story of me too, I guess. And with this I wish for you my friends, a very blessed time of Lent- may it be filled with reflection, contemplation and rememberance.
Peace be with you.

life.

Hi all-

So I have been putting off writing this update, because it's not one I like to write. My maternal grandmother died this past Sunday morning. My mom was with her as she passed. The funeral is on Thursday in Florida. I won't be able to make it. Which sucks. I am glad however, that I did get a chance to spend so much time with her when I went home for two weeks in Dec/Jan.

But, that's the way life is sometimes. My grandmother lived to be 91 years old. She had a full life. In the last few months though it was a life filled with pain. I am glad that she is no longer suffering.

Other than that, pressing through the second week of school, still lots to read and on top of it all, I had a filling fall out of my mouth this evening. Never had that happen before. And while I do have health insurance, I do not have dental insurance- so, uhm- yeah. It sucks also to not have money, or the money I do have is all loaned money that soon I will start having to pay back.

Life.

Well- despite my lamenting, I hope you are doing well.

Thanks for reading.

C

First week wrap-up

Hi all-
I have completed the first week of my last semester of seminary, which is also part of the reason I haven't updated sooner- I was back in the class room.
This semester I am taking the following classes:
Sr. Preaching: Doctrine with Ted Wardlaw and Louis Zbinden, Mondays 9:30-12:15 (including chapel) and Wednesdays, 9:30-10:50
Philosophical and Theological Concepts of Justice (with and emphasis on capitalism apparently) with Ismael Garcia, Mondays, 2-5:20pm
Formation of the Cannon (Andy's last class) with Andy Dearman, Tues & Thurs, 1-2:20pm
and
Entry into Ministry with Michael Jinkins, Tues & Thurs, 4-5:20pm. -if you see me in the month of March- I will be wearing the collar for this class... should be fun with spring break and the clergy shirts....

It seems like it should be a good semester- a lot of reading and papers, but helpful.

That's about it. School. Oh, and there was a very good game Wednesday night (UNC-Duke) followed by a dismal game Thursday night (Canes-Panthers)- and I got to go kayaking this week too. That was good.
So yeah- I am going to go and try and be productive with my Friday now.
Peace!

Back in Austin

Hi all-
Sorry for the delay in posting. I arrived back in Austin on Saturday night and since then our school has been playing host to lots of people for its annual Mid Winter Lectures. While I had no official role in it (unlike the last two years when I was on tech staff) I did however find myself caught up in some of the festivities. Mainly that of attending worship and the three lectures by Tom Long. His topic was on innocent suffering and how one preaches on that. Very good. Very good indeed. Other than that, KoKo and I have been laying low, enjoying the fact that I don't have anything planned since I actually turned in a paper early and classes don't start until Monday. Very slowly I am doing chores around the apartment and in town.
A couple of days ago marked the anniversary of Stan Hall's death, so i have been reflecting on his life as well. I have also been thinking about the significance of being one of his pall bearers and literally putting him into the ground. It seems somewhat profound. And something about that I think I will bear for a while yet. I miss his presence here at APTS and I miss his classes. I miss him.
I don't really have that much else to write about at the moment. I went back to the gym yesterday for the first time in a long time, did a spin class, that I am still feeling this early afternoon- and debating about going swimming today or going to see a movie. I know, tough choices...
Really, I am just anxious to get the spring term started, my last one. And into the great unknown.
Hope you are all well and doing fine. Please continue to pray for my grandmother.
Thanks and take care.
Carrie